Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
