just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
