Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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