yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
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