it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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