Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Randomize
