Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
