is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
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Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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