after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
