the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I came so hard my ears popped.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
