There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
