Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
4 words: hood of his car
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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