the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
