you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
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