I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize