When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
