And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
