i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
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He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize