if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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