I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
