I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
