Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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