I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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