He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
