yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
