Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
