He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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