Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
