I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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