He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
