My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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