DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
