She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
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