it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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