great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
