i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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