so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Randomize
