my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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