Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
