I am puke
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
