i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
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