Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(773): View more from Illinois

After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.

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(541): View more from Oregon

I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.

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(314): View more from Missouri

Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won

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(916): View more from California

He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?

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(773): View more from Illinois

Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.

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(901): View more from Tennessee

My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real

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(949): View more from California

I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs

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