he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
