Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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