it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
