I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
