I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
