I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
