i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
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you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
You were trust falling into bushes
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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