we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
When are your genitals available?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
