You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
