then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
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We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
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