I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
