I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
