The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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