There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
