I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
