hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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