Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Help. Why am I so naked?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
